Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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