Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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