Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize