after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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