the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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