I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
