I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Randomize
