Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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