I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
