So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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