Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
