I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
