After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
