shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish you could order shots online.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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