Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
