dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
