am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
