you would pick up someone in the library
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
