So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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