Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
