So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
