Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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