im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
