yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
