I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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