If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
