I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
