All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It's Friday. Sex?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
