I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
