hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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