Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
