the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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