I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
