i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Randomize
