We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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