she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
