Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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