mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
