I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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