I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I understand Curling. That high.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
