my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Bring me that man meat
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
