do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
