Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
