Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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