Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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