I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
