Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
