Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
