sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
