Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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